Last New Year’s Eve

Do you remember where you were this time last year? Were you planning how you would be spending New Year’s Eve? Or perhaps thinking about your New Year Resolutions?

It is at this time of the year where many of us reflect upon the year past and begin thinking and planning how you would improve ‘life’ in the I upcoming year.
This time last year I was snuggled away in a National Park residing in a log cabin with my then partner. It was definitely a time of deep reflection and the holiday was meant to give us both a break from a year filled with hospital visits, medication trials and living a life that revolved around my illness and chronic pain.
Our cabin was everything the brochure had said it would be, quiet, tranquil and forest animals that came up on to our balcony at dusk each night. We went on walks in the National Park, swam in a river with the local town folk and took long naps.On the night of New Year’s Eve, we packed a picnic and one of our favourite bottles of champagne, turned our torches on and wandered into a local field. The night stars lit up the evening and while laying on a blanket in that field I sensed loneliness and a sense of distance from my partner. I was also caught up in my own thoughts which I was not sharing, which is highly unusual for me. I can be a chatterbox, even in my sleep. But I was being mindful of not slipping out my inner thoughts of the past year and more importantly the year to come! This meant thinking about the words I used in the context of all conversations. For once I did not want to share my inner thoughts, especially in regards to the New Year. Why? I was about to contemplate making a decision concerning my work position as an Online Educator and I did not want to be influenced either way. For the first time, I think in my life, no one elses opinion counted or was required, the decision that I was about to make needed to based on my experiences and my experiences only…. To Be Continued


4 thoughts on “Last New Year’s Eve”

  1. I am so sorry you’ve been unable to find permanent relief. People do not understand the toll that chronic pain takes on you–physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and spiritually. There are probably more to that list.

    I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Fibromyalgia (16 yrs), Chronic Daily Headache/Complex Migraine Disease (7 yrs) and Psoriatic Arthritis/Ankylosing Spondylitis (diagnosed in 2010 finally!). Feel free to email me if you ever need a friendly ear.

    1. Thank you sincerely! As well meaning as our loved ones are and as much as they attempt to understand I believe that only fellow sufferers can truly understand the toll our ‘broken’ bodies take on day to day living. I am also only a keyboard anytime you need to chat. Happy, healthy New Year.

      P.s- I think Toohey deserves some extra cheese’

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