This time last week I was feeling full of optimism and strength. People who live with chronic pain know that life is a constant Rollercoaster and that no matter how hard you may try, it is a ride that you are unable to get off nor predict what may be coming around the corner. The ride may give you periods in life where the pain monster stays lurking in the background or it may rear it’s ugly head, full force, as you turn the next bend. There will be experiences where you feel you have no effort left to fight the uphill climb to get to the top of the ride, but just like the Rollercoaster, putting in some hard work, may give you the thrill and exhiliration of arriving at the top of the ride and experience the joy of feeling intense freedom, with hands in the air, plummeting downhill, adrenaline filling your body. This is how it feels when pain levels fall below a five out of ten. These are the days that are made of gold. Getting your body moving and freeing up some of the tense and dormant muscles, can result in some pain relief.
Last Friday, I was experiencing a ‘golden day’ and I decided to take action. I researched my local area in order to find some kind of exercise class that I thought I might be able to manage. Before my illness I had been raised to be very involved in sport and outdoor recreation activities. I had experienced or played all of the following: netball, tennis, gymnastics, dancing, athletics, swimming, waterskiing, wake boarding, snow skiing, squash, mini-marathons. Basically, I loved being active. To this day I could still swim up and down a pool following that black line and enjoy every second of it, if my body would only allow it. Ironically, exercise that is beneficial for the injuries from a serious car accident are somewhat contradictory for my current chronic pain condition. But sometimes to my own detriment, I live by the saying, “No Pain, No Gain”! Unfortunately I have quite a high pain threshold so I can sometimes take the opportunity to exercise a little too far 🙂
I’m hoping I may have found a compromise. I’m looking at attending an Aquarobics class for Seniors. While I may not qualify in age, I’m sure my enthusiasm and medical limitations will assist in gaining permission to attend. I have an Aquatic Centre close to where I reside and I always receive a discount to attend the centre as part of our Council’s provision for those with disabilities. My only hold up is the injuries I received after being electrocuted while baking last Saturday. I don’t think I have ever had my body feel so broken . When teaching at a Catholic school I had a wonderful Principal who said to me that “God will never give you more than you can handle”, well enough is enough now, thank you, I have enough to handle for the present moment.
I have been hiding myself away, feeling imperfect, broken, sad, lacking in strength & motivation and this needs to change. While recuperating from last weeks events I am planning upcoming weeks where I can slowly begin introducing activity back into my world. I would also love to do some more Post Grad studies but at certain times of my medication cycles during the day, I can forget what day it is or where I’ve just placed my cup of coffee. So my compromise will be visits to the library, where I can travel by ferry on the beautiful Sydney Harbour directly there. I’m going to continue meditation classes to help maintain a positive and relaxed demeanor. With the assistance and guidance of my fantastic Pain Psychologist I hope to forge a new life. Wish me luck and please feel free to post any other activities that do not require sitting for lengths at a time.
Health & Happiness 🙂